blogiversary

welcome, readers.

today marks the three year anniversary at enchanted.ladybug.

before i continue, i would like to thank all of you who take the time out to visit my humble corner. your comments and encouragement have meant so much to me, and they play a huge part in what keeps me motivated. so thank you, beloved reader. thank you for your support, thank you for your light.

i hope that your coming year will bring colorful moments. i hope that if ever the tiniest crack should find a place in your soul, know that it doesn’t make you imperfect; it’s just a way for the light to shine through the pain. Rumi has this expressive saying: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

my spirit is in desperate need of this light. the month of December has not been kind to me. i don’t think i’ve ever discussed much of my personal life here because i never intended for this blog to be a vehicle for that part of my life, but bear with me. please.

something happened earlier this month and now i have some emotional pain that i’m trying to overcome. there’s also what happened to me on the 26th of this month: while i was at work, someone hit my car and didn’t leave a note. i can no longer enter my car on the driver’s side or roll the [driver side] window down.

i haven’t been interacting much on the discussion board that i belong to. there, i’m the cute little ladybug: skating around, being silly, offering encouragement with my uplifting spirit. because of what i’ve been dealing with, it just doesn’t make for a very sociable individual.

it’s also the reason i don’t have a story for you this month. i have one that i’ve been working on, i just thought i’d have it ready to post by now, especially since it’s a holiday-themed piece. there’s still a little editing to be done, i do not have names for my characters, i also do not have a title.

i think my muse is going to pack her things and abscond to Italy for an extended vacation. not that i blame her; i’d leave too if i was stripped of my desire. i do aspire to be a better writer and i know that in order to reach that ambition, i need to work through this emotional mess and find something to motivate me. i fear that if i don’t, i’ll lose the desire (and my muse) completely, and i’ll go years without writing. i don’t want that to happen.

i’ve been trying to get rid of the feelings by doing anything i can to keep my mind from being idle. maybe, in some way, this is me trying not to accept the emotional pain. i don’t know.

i know that a healing is coming, that the light will shine through the hurt. but right now, i’m tired. i’m tired of being the strong one, i’m tired of smiling through the pain. i’m tired of being tired.

i’m not throwing in the towel on my blog; i’m not that deep in the abyss. i just need some time to center myself. for now, i’ll have to wait out the suffering.

i feel so bad: i normally have a new read for you at the end of the year and i’ve come to you empty-handed. i’m sorry, beloved reader; but know that i’m (slowly) working on it. i just need a little more time.

once again, i want to thank you for your support and your encouragement. thank you for gracing my little corner and being a part of my deviant little world.

have a safe and joyous new year.

dream often and be golden.

enchanted.ladybug